If you are a couples therapist, you have no doubt experienced clients with mixed agendas – one may be leaning into the marriage and the other leaning out. Research indicates nearly one in three clients presenting for marital therapy fit this description. Our therapy models aren’t built to serve this type of couple effectively which is why Discernment Counseling is so valuable. For individual therapists, it can be challenging to work with a client who is deeply unhappy and ambivalent about their marriage – especially since you don’t see their spouse. Discernment Counseling can offer clarity and confidence to your client and their partner about the future of their marriage.
For both individual and couples therapists, I want to be a trusted referral source when you find yourself working with clients like this. I am also continuing to build my network of both individual and couples therapists that I can make referrals to once the Discernment Counseling process is complete. Please click here for more information about making a referral to me.
Video about training offered through the Doherty Relationship Institute
If you have a couple that might be a good fit for Discernment Counseling, please ask them to visit this website to learn more about this specialized service and to get started. If you aren’t sure the couple is right for Discernment Counseling, please contact me via phone or email, I will respond as soon as possible. If you are interested in receiving referrals from me for clients choosing to move toward separation or divorce, please click here so I can include you as a resource to these couples.
I typically connect with a referral within 2 business days.
Discernment Counseling offers a short-term, focused approach to help couples decide on the future of their marriage. It's designed for couples where one partner is “leaning out” of the relationship and unsure if couples therapy can help, while the other is “leaning in” and committed to saving the marriage.
Couples start with a 2-hour session where both partners have individual conversations with the counselor.
After that, couples may choose to schedule up to five total sessions. Each session is structured to help them understand their respective roles in the relationship and gain clarity about their options moving forward.
Discernment Counseling isn't traditional couples therapy. Instead of focusing on improving communication or resolving conflicts, it helps couples gain a deeper understanding of what went wrong in the marriage and whether it can be repaired. The focus is on self-reflection, personal responsibility, and clarity.
One spouse has already made the decision to divorce.
One spouse is being pressured to participate.
There's a risk of domestic violence.
Stay married without further intervention.
Separate or Divorce
Commit to six months of couples therapy, with no discussion of divorcing during that time, focusing on personal growth and change.
Discernment Counseling offers a beacon of hope for couples facing uncertainty in their relationship journey. Discernment Counseling is a specialized form of therapy that empowers partners to explore their options with clarity and intentionality. Through guided conversations, individuals can delve into their emotions, concerns, and aspirations, fostering a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationship dynamics. This process lets couples gain valuable insights into their compatibility and the underlying issues contributing to their relational challenges.
Amid relational turmoil, clarity often feels elusive. However, Discernment Counseling serves as a catalyst for illuminating the pathways forward. By providing a safe and non-judgmental space, this therapeutic approach encourages couples to explore their desires, fears, and priorities openly. Through reflective dialogue and thoughtful guidance, individuals can gain a clearer perspective on their relationship's strengths, weaknesses, and potential for growth. Armed with this newfound clarity, couples can make informed decisions regarding the future of their partnership, whether that involves reconciliation, separation, or a period of further reflection.
At its core, Discernment Counseling embodies the transformative power of self-discovery and introspection. By embarking on this journey of exploration, couples not only gain insights into their relationship dynamics but also into themselves as individuals. Through deepened self-awareness and empathy, partners can cultivate a renewed sense of agency and empowerment in navigating their relationship crossroads. Whether they ultimately choose to reconcile or part ways amicably, the insights gleaned from Discernment Counseling can serve as a foundation for personal growth and resilience, guiding them toward a brighter and more fulfilling future, whatever that may entail.
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